Releasing my burden: Fear

Merriam-Webster defines fear as an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger. Yep, that's it. I have lots of it. Throughout the day, fear runs through my head. Even before this diagnosis, I fell victim to this emotion probably more than most people. This is definitely a stronghold I have had for a very long time. Before all of this, I feared the most ridiculous things. Things that really do not matter in the least.

He says to "fear not". I've heard that this phrase is in the Bible 365 times but I've heard some skepticism around the number of times too. I don't think it really matters because 100 times or 365 times, it is still mentioned enough that we should take note of it. Unfortunately, I need to be reminded of this often. Several times a day often. But He does command me to not be afraid. My fears are not of Him. My fears are made to destroy me. My fears are a weapon intended to cripple my capability to serve our Lord. I don't mind a frequent reminder, do you?

So in order to daily release my fears, I thought I'd write out the main ones I am having with this cancer stuff. Hopefully, those reading it that are dealing with the same diagnosis can benefit from it in some way.

1. I fear death. Before faced with this diagnosis I don't think I feared this. I am excited to see Jesus. Really I am. I am just scared of the transition out of this world and into the other. More importantly, my fear surrounds leaving those that love me. I will be at the feet of The Lord but others won't. I thank Him for this realization. We need to face our mortality. We need to look it straight in the eye. I think I'm starting to get it. We really only have a small amount of time to make our lives count. Man, I have wasted so much time. Luckily, the doctors say that I'll have plenty more time to make it count. God-willing.

Psalm 23:4

2. I fear weakness. If you know me personally, you know that I am quite competitive. Weakness was viewed as a flaw to me. I have been blessed with the ability to catch onto things quickly and have been decent at most things I have tried. So, by the worlds standards I have not been weak. Until now. I dread needing to be taken care of. Fortunately, I serve a God who loves to take care of us. He is strong when I am weak (which is all the time in His eyes, who was I kidding). I'm just thankful that He puts up with stubborn children like myself. I pray that He continues to pursue me in this way. I do not need to be strong and will not be strong all the time. I will Let mHim be all the strength I need. I will boast in my weakness just as He commanded, or try to at least!

2 Corinthians 2:9

3. I fear giving up control. I am a type "A" personality. I am organized, controlling, always on time, brutally honest, and I desperately try to fix all things. So, this has thrown me for a loop! It's a hard pill to swallow that I really have no control at all (or ever had). Especially with this situation. Worrying about it does nothing. Researching ovarian cancer and weighing my odds does nothing. I have to sit back and wait (which type "A's" are not very good at either). I knew this lesson though. I know that I have the ability to make my own choices but the book is written. My future is known. I must use these circumstances for good. I must press on, without control. Why would I want to be in control anyway when The Lord of the universe holds the world in His hands? It's time to let go of myself. I'm not that big of a deal, but He is.

Matthew 19:26

4. I fear losing my hair. Okay, we already talked about this one but I do fear this. I'm not sure my head is so cute bald. I don't know how I'll feel when it starts falling out. I don't know how Jason will feel either. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for people visiting and feeling weird around me because I look so different. I know these are silly worries. I know Jason loves me regardless and the people that visit will too. I realize that the people that love me probably aren't as shallow as I am. I think this is just a realization that I have placed too much emphasis on vanity. My hair means entirely too much to me. I am grateful for this time and for this realization. I want my heart to be transformed here. Beauty is not external.

Proverbs 31:30

5. I fear the unknown. Yep, I am type "A" through and through. I fear chemo not working. I fear infection, nausea, dehydration, and moments of little faith. I fear survivorship and future doctor appointments. I fear future motherhood in case there is a recurrence. I fear any ache and pain. I fear, fear. I fear revealing this to the world because it reveals my little faith and trust. Lord release me from these fears. If I have to come before you 100 times a day to relinquish these fears, lead me to you. You are powerful. You are able. You are Healer. You are a mighty God.

Proverbs 3:6

So, this is probably the most real post that I have written. I feel pretty exposed after writing this but I wanted to give a honest glimpse of my heart. It is uncertain and shaking with fear. But He has it in His hands. By Him alone, I will not fear. I will hold tight to His words and His promises. I will study it and place it on my heart. I am thankful for this broken place. I often miss His hand in my life but He hasn't left my side yet. He hasn't left yours either.

I promise a better blog soon! He has great things ahead! :). I leave you with a Haitian sunset. Enjoy!

What happens next?

Hello everyone! I just though I'd update everyone on what the next steps are in this whole process. I went to my oncologist last Friday for my post-op appointment. We didn't know if we would make it or not because of the ice storm that we had Friday morning but we did. My doctor mostly prepared us for chemotherapy...listing side effects and regimens for each drug that I will receive. He scheduled me for a chemo education session, as well as, to receive a PICC line.

I had my chemo education session yesterday and my mom came along for support. Again, we talked about side effects and regimens for each drug. We discussed a schedule for chemo as well. I'm glad my mom was able to come along because I think it eased her fears a bit. The chemo class was led by a nurse practitioner at my oncologist's office and she prescribed nausea meds for me to take. I think overall we left this session feeling okay about everything. We were at least educated on what may/may not happen. Oh, and I got the see the infusion center that I will spend A LOT of time in!

The chemotherapy I will receive is called BEP (Bleomycin, Etoposide, and Cisplatin). It will be given in 3, 21 day cycles for a total of 9 weeks. Each cycle will look like this: Week 1 I go to chemo Monday through Friday for 6 hours and receive all 3 drugs; Weeks 2 and 3, I go on Monday and receive Bleomycin only lasting less than 1 hour. Fun, huh? There is lots of info online if you want to know more about each drug. Basically, it is the same chemotherapy regimen that testicular cancer patients receive. Major side effects are: nausea, hair loss, fatigue, flu-like symptoms, decreased white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets, and some skin changes. There are some more severe side effects but those are pretty rare. I have been told that since I am young and healthy that I should do okay with this dose of chemo. For some reason it's hard to believe that this will be okay. All my trust lies in The Lord on this one. He's the only one that's going to get me through this. My goal is to stay positive and try and embrace this challenge, knowing that my suffering is bringing me closer to Him (if He is where my focus remains).

So, Thursday will be PICC line day. PICC stands for peripherally inserted central catheter for those of you that aren't medical minded. It's basically an IV that will stay in my upper arm for 9 weeks. I am dreading this. Mostly because it's another medical procedure. I also feel like that this will make me feel/look sick. The oncologist felt that a PICC line was our best bet due to the frequency of chemo the first week in each cycle. Chemo can also make your veins rather hard to work with. I have some juicy babies now that are a phlebotomist's dream but they will be all used up in a few short months. On a happy note, there is a cool website that makes various medical supply covers that are quite stylish. So I have ordered myself a teal PICC line cover to support ovarian cancer of course. I'm quite thankful for this!

Chemotherapy officially starts Monday, February 4th at 8 am. I can't say I'm looking forward to it but I am so ready to get this show on the road. I am thankful for this week to enjoy (thank you Jesus for amazing weather) some time with Him and all the people He placed in my life. I have also been preparing for the weeks ahead. I have a stash full of nausea meds, lemon drops, teal nail polish (for fun), scarfs, crochet hats, soup, Sprite, Boost, a "special bucket" to stay in the car :), and comfortable clothes. My house is ready. My pantry is ready. My body is as ready as it'll ever be. My husband? I think he's ready. Most importantly, my heart and soul are biting at the bit to go. I can't wait to see what He has in store. Please Lord, use me for your good. I accept this trial before me and trust in your Hand. You have blessed me more than I will ever deserve because you love me.

I plan on writing a little bit more before chemo about some stuff on my heart that I would like to process through, so bear with me. I will definitely fill everyone in on chemo day one...hopefully!

Thanks for reading! I really appreciate all of the prayers! Oh, thanks Anita for the t-shirt! How cute!

What is beauty?

Ever since the word chemotherapy was mentioned, people have been telling me to go ahead and look for a wig. Until now, I was having a hard time coming to terms with chemotherapy becoming part of my life. I did not want to accept this change, this trial, this path. If I definitely wasn't accepting chemo, then I really wasn't ready to deal with losing my hair.

It took a leap of faith. I went to the American Cancer Society yesterday morning with my mom and Aunt Cindy by my side for a different kind of makeover. I was there to try on different wigs and hopefully find one to take home. I mentioned in my last blog how incredible this organization was but let me just reiterate that fact. They are wonderful. I speak for my family and I when I say that I have made 2 new friends. Jessica, who works for ACS was incredibly knowledgable with anything cancer-related. She also had Allison, an ETSU student, with her. They were both sincerely understanding and provided me with support and wisdom.

I tried on many wigs in all colors, styles, and types. Basically, you can get a synthetic blend wig or one made of human hair. I chose a human hair wig because it just felt real. And looked real too! It was really amazing how good they looked! The room that we tried the wigs on in looked just like a professional dressing room. It was beautiful and very "girly". I also had the opportunity to try on different hats, scarves, and turbans. Don't worry, there are pictures to document this day!

I left this place with a brand new human hair wig provided to the ACS by "Beautiful Lengths", a program sponsored by Pantene, as well as, a head wrap and scarf that were all donated. I am so grateful for this service. We laughed the whole time we were there and my face hurt because I smiled so much! But most importantly, I left with a sense of self. With each wig I tried on, I looked pretty different but I was still me. Cancer can take my hair but it can't take who I am. I conquered cancer today and I plan on doing the same tomorrow, and the day after that....

When I was first diagnosed and knew I needed chemotherapy, I really did not think about the effects of treatment. I just wanted to live. I still just want to live. So in my mind, it's hard to be upset about losing my hair. It seems like such a vain thing to be worried about. I should be worried about my life. In knowing that my cancer has a high cure rate, smaller worries were creeping in, such as hair loss. When this unknown comes lurking, He tells me not to hide. He doesn't want this story to be hidden. My bald head will tell a tale. I want to be proud to be bald because I'll be alive and living is beautiful.

So throughout the day, I was reminded of the definition of true beauty through the eyes of our Maker. This world may have its own idea of what is beautiful but I will chose what He values every time. My worldly beauty will not get me any closer to where my heart desires but the beauty of my heart will. And don't get me wrong, my heart is not always beautiful. I think striving for it is a start though.

"Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."
2 Peter 3:3-4

And yes...I did take pictures with the iPad of my pictures off of the computer (for you, Jason).

The charity I didn't expect to need

Well, today makes 1 week post op and I can't believe how fast time has gone by! I am feeling pretty good, just a little sore around my incisions. You wonder what I have been doing with my time? I have been I am trying to prepare my house, my husband, and myself for 9 weeks of chemo without lifting more than 10 pounds and with frequent rest breaks! I have also had the opportunity to see some great friends and family that I have neglected because of my busy life.

One thing that has been on my list of to-dos was to begin researching various wig options. I have put off this notion for the obvious reasons. As if surgery to remove my ovary and Fallopian tube were not truth enough, my hair falling out will be proof that I am a cancer patient. I still haven't really used that word in direct relation to myself. Kelly, you have cancer. But, cancer does not have Kelly.

Anyway, I called the American Cancer Society today and talked with a awesome woman from the Johnson City office. I thought I'd ask her if she had any advice on where to get a decent wig. Surprisingly, she told me that they provided wigs to their patients free of charge. What? She said that they have all different colors, styles, and types of hair for me to choose from. All I need to do was make an appointment for a fitting session. This touches my heart. I knew what the American Cancer Society was and had even ran in some of their races but I had never been a recipient of their works. So in that, thank all of you who have ever given to this charity or any charity.

This lady at the American Cancer Society also mentioned a class that they offer women undergoing treatment for cancer. It's called the "Look Good...Feel Better" program. It's pretty much a 2 hour session teaching us how to take care of our skin and nails. It also helps with options during and following hair loss. I had no idea anything like this existed...but I am so thankful that it does.

So to sum that up, the American Cancer Society rocks! If you already give to this organization, continue! The people they serve are blessed. I am sure that I will continue to advocate for this organization, maybe even tomorrow. Oh and by the way, I will be running another marathon after this wearing a DetermiNation jersey. You can find out more at www.cancer.org.

So I go tomorrow to be fitted for a wig with my mom along for help. I made myself a hat today as well. I'm preparing, right? Not quite sure that's possible, but preparing for this turn in life was really not possible either. I just know that I will be beautiful in His eyes regardless and my future is in His hands. With that, ready or not cancer, here I come.

No surprise to Him

Hello again! It has been a busy day! I went to work to visit and had the opportunity to see some of my babies and their families! I also got to eat lunch with all my friends from work :). I successfully made another horrible dinner and cleaned up the mess. On another note, I definitely over did it. I'm sore and worried that my incision is getting a little too red.

So...my thought for tonight was to talk about the places where I have seen His hand through this process. I can't say that I do a very good job discerning the voice of The Lord. I talk a lot and am rarely quiet or still to hear Him. I do see Him work retrospectively though and see His works. This diagnosis is of no surprise to Him and He has been preparing my heart for quite some time. Here are just a few of those times:

My Marathon
I never thought I would ever be able to run a marathon. When I actually set the goal I wasn't really sure I could do it. I don't think many people thought I could. But I did. I ran a very slow marathon this past November in Savannah, GA without injury or collapse. I did it. I can't tell those who have never trained for one how hard it was to get up and run on Saturday morning or run 10 miles in the evening after 9 hours of work. It was the hardest thing I have ever done physically and it took a long time to train for...18 weeks. I was successful and I was strong. I am a marathoner. He knew I needed that. He knew I needed to know the impossible was possible. He was preparing me for a marathon much greater than 26 miles and 385 yards. I have the fitness level of marathoner, the mind of a marathoner, and the heart of a marathoner. one might think that I have a decent shot of winning the battle based on the worlds standards but I also have the strength of The Lord who defeats even death!

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

The Promise
Rainbows are beautiful and significant. The rainbow represents His promise to us. As I have mentioned before, it had been raining a lot in the Tri-Cities around the time of this diagnosis. A lot of rain...schools were closing because of flooding and many roads were closed. Our church had to cancel services the day of my surgery because the sanctuary was flooded. Jason and I were preparing to go to the oncologist for the first time on Friday, January 11th and it was still raining. It was a weird rain...you know with the sun still shining. And there it was. The most beautiful complete rainbow over our house. I realize that when you are struggling with something, symbols become significant that otherwise would not make such an impact. Regardless, it was comforting. It relieved our anxiety and stress with the reminder of a plan greater than I can imagine. For those of you that have came across the "Double Rainbow" skit on YouTube, it was a double rainbow and caused the same amount of joy that the narrator of that video had! :)

"I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth." Genesis 9:13

Daily Devotional
I have a very special aunt on my dad's side who has always wanted me to know who God is to her as far back as I can remember. She is an incredible woman of faith and is a powerful witness. She has given me several gifts over the years to aid in my Christian growth and all of them have brought blessings to my life. She had given me the "Streams in the Desert" devotional by L.B. Cowman for Christmas in 2010. I just happened to start this devotional this year and what an impact it has made. The Lord is using this devotional to speak to me. I can sincerely say that. Each devotional related directly to the emotions of the day or to the trials faced for me or someone I love. I have read this devotional each morning and am uplifted by its words. He continually tells me to not be afraid, He is with me, and I need to be still and patient. He instills in me that sorrow is good for the heart and to pray without ceasing. He is teaching me in the quiet desert that I am in. It's my job to listen.

"He withdrew...to a solitary place." Matthew 14:13

I could continue...but I won't. I will say that I have been approached by several friends that can share a similar experience with this diagnosis over the past week. It is really quite amazing to see just how He has placed people in our lives to provide us with comfort and support. He wants me to make this known and to not keep quiet. I have been comforted over the past week from those around me. From John Henry Jowett in "Streams in the Desert", He comforts us so we can comfort others. It's my turn now.

Talk to you guys soon!

Blessings

For those of you reading this, bear with me. I have never blogged about anything, nor do I ever really journal about my thoughts. I feel kind of odd writing about myself and my struggles in a blog...I feel kind of self-centered. If I come across the least bit boastful, please call me out. That is not my intent...it's really quite the opposite. This blog is to educate others about this rare cancer and to document His work through this trial. I also apologize for my typos and poor grammar. I know I switch tenses and misspell words frequently (and to think I was in AP English). :)

Now that the stage is set and each of you kind of know what going on, I can talk about the reality of this thing and all of the emotions attached to it. For those of you fighting this disease, my emotions are my own and you may or may have the same experience.

I can't write about anything until I talk about how blessed I am through this trial already. Most things have changed now. I can't boldly say that the grass is greener, life is more precious, and that I treat every day as it were my last. But my view of this life is definitely skewed in a more positive direction. When I became a Christian in middle school, I somewhat grasped the concept of giving my life to Jesus. I lost my life to gain eternal life with my Savior. I get that now. I have had a hard few days with the realization that I don't think I ever fully turned over control to Him (I don't think many of us truly have). I have now and am blessed with His truth. My life is His. This life is for Him. Why do I want to control and/or change something that He has already blessed with His goodness/grace/mercy? So in that, I abandon my life for His good. I will walk through this valley for His promise, knowing that He has gone before me. Jason and I had a Bebo Norman song played at out wedding called, "The Hammer Holds". This song is so appropriate to my life now. Here is a link to the lyrics: http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/bebo-norman/the-hammer-holds.html.

"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will find it." Matthew 16:25

Secondly, as crazy as it sounds I am thankful to have been chosen for this journey. Now this idea wavers in my mind periodically but I truly feel chosen to bear this. I don't know why He chose me, but He did. I am blessed to be here: broken, weak, terrified, and unraveled. He is here with me. I can't think of a time in my life where I haven't been transformed while in this place. There is beauty in the ashes. He is the light in the darkness. He is strong when I am weak. I know He is doing something great, whether it's in my life or in someone else's. I am just thankful to be a part of the process. I have said it a few times already, this will be worth it (I'm just not sure what "it" is).

"This is why for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10

Lastly, I had no idea how important people were! Jason and I did not realize what a circle of friends/family we have that really love us. We didn't grow up in the area that we live and we haven't been back to our hometowns that often. In saying that, I guess I feel like a nomad that doesn't really have a strong connection with many people. But did He prove differently. We have experienced an outpouring of love, prayers, and support over the past week or so that is amazing! I cannot thank each one of those people enough for the words of encouragement, presence, ears to listen, or silent prayers to Jesus. We feel the prayers. People are really such an incredible blessing that I have taken for granted. The DVR, Pinterest, or baking have nothing on the power of fellowship. And I thank Him for that blessing.

"If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose." Philippians 2:1-2

I've attached some pictures of the "things" that I have received over the past week. I don't have a great love for things and am not trying to show off my "get well soon" collection. :) But I do want to say thank you to all of those who expressed their love in that way....hopefully everyone made the cut!

Thanks for reading!

The oncologist and beyond...

Friday, January 11th 2013

Jason and I went to see my gynecological oncologist on January 11th. It rained (poured) all the way to this appointment and Jason commented on the weather by saying, "Why is the weather always like this on days like this?". We had no idea what to expect here and were still at our lowest low.

This oncologist was an answered prayer! Some of the first words out of his mouth were, "You are going to be fine. You will have babies in a year if you want too." So of course, this made me cry. Unfortunately, I had never quite grasped the idea that life is temporary. When you are 29 you really doubt that you'll face your mortality short of an accident. It appeared that I could begin planning my future again (or at least think about it).

My oncologist seemed to believe that I had what is called a mixed germ cell tumor, likely malignant. He believed that it contained a yolk sac component capable of rapid replication and spread. He recommended laparoscopic surgery to remove my left ovary and Fallopian tube, as well as the tumor. He prepared us for the need for Chemotherapy following surgery. Apparently, this type of tumor is highly responsive to Chemo so he treats all germ cell tumors with It. He does not stage this type of cancer because he treats it all the same.

This mixed germ cell tumor is quite rare in females and is the female equivalent of a testicular cancer. Also, this female version of a malignant germ cell tumor is actually more common in the pediatric population. Amazingly, there should be about a 95-100% survival rate at 5 years following chemo. Praise God!!

We left this appointment with a surgery scheduled for 5 days later and hope.

Wednesday, January 16th 2013

Surgery day. Terrified but trusting in The Lord. My life is His and I vowed to have Him use me as a vessel for His glory. I have had some other surgeries in the past but I can't remember being quite as scared. I have had a Mark Schultz song run through my head through this whole thing thing called "All Things Possible". Wow. It amazes me where God chooses to be to provide you comfort. The chorus of this song was repeated at least 50 times while I was waiting for my surgery:

"My God is strong and mighty,
My God is faithful.
My hope is in The Lord,
For he is able."

He did comfort me. He did bring me peace. He did perform a miracle. I made it through surgery fine. No complications. Took 1 hour and 1 minute. My oncologist said that there was no obvious evidence of spread in my abdomen and my right ovary looked good. The tumor did appear to be malignant. Now we wait for pathology and heal up.

My oncologist called on Friday, January 18th. Pathologist reported that the tumor was an immature teratoma/mixed germ cell tumor that contained 5% yolk sac components and 5% dysgerminoma components. The oncologist practically nailed it. Waiting patiently for next Friday, January 25th for my post op appointment and to discuss chemo.

Just an aside, it had been raining practically non stop in the Tri-Cities since Friday the 11th. It finally stopped on Thursday, January 17th and snowed 4-5 inches. I chose to believe and trust that the snow is a new beginning after the storm.

These have been some of the hardest days of our lives but He is faithful. He provides. My life is His and I am blessed to be His vessel.

The First Doctor's Appointment

Well, I began having left lower pelvic pain and flank pain around the first of January 2013. I spare the weekends for running and was unable to even go run because of this back/pelvic pain. I was also running a very mild low-grade fever. I had no primary care doctor (if that tells you how little I needed to see the doctor) so I decided to get an appointment with my gynecologist (who is wonderful...if that can even be possible!) on January 8th. So, to make a long story short, she and the ultrasound tech found a mass on my left ovary through ultrasound and physical exam.

A dermoid cyst or teratoma. Huh? This lovely thing is about the size of a baseball. What? So, it needs to come out. We schedule a surgery for late January to get this thing out. Before I leave, they take some blood to check for elevated tumor markers and I'm on my way.

2 days later, my gynecologist calls with some unexpected news. My bloodwork came back with some elevated tumor markers. Elevated hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin hormone) and AFP (alpha-fetoprotein) which suggest malignant tumor components. My doctor referred me to a gynecologic oncologist and an appointment was scheduled for Friday, January 11th. I received this call at about 8:15 on a Thursday morning and worked that whole day with this news. I really didn't know what this meant or what to think. Luckily, I work with some incredibly Godly women who helped me through the day. I think this day was just full of shock for both Jason and I. I got home and both of us just sat on the couch going through what-ifs and worries. This was definitely our lowest low to this point.

Now waiting until tomorrow...

I can't say that I completely trusted The Lord at this point. Again, I think I was just overwhelmed with shock. Seriously? I may have the "C" word?!?! And at 29?!?! They're right, you never thought it would be you. I honestly know that He was the only thing that got me through that night. He comforted me in a supernatural way when I look back on it now and He gave me rest that night.

I did know one thing...He was at work.

Just Me

Hi. My name is Kelly French and I was just a 29 year old, married, Boxer-mom who was breezing through this life. My husband and I have been married for about 6 1/2 years and live in a small town in Northeast Tennessee, where everything is pretty easy. We both have great jobs, a house, cars that run, and a great circle of family and friends. Most importantly, we both have personal relationships with Jesus Christ, whom is the creator of all things and provides us with all that we have and all that we are.

I work full time as a pediatric physical therapist, where I have the opportunity to work with children from 0-18 that need physical rehabilitation for whatever reason. I have been blessed to work with children and their parents that are a lot stronger and more courageous than I. I also have a great work family who I would not trade for anything.

Jason is a family practice physician at an outpatient clinic near the town we live in. He has been out of residency for about 1 1/2 years and he is getting the swing of things. In my opinion, he is brilliant and the smartest man I know.

We are originally from the Knoxville, TN area and most of our family are there. We travel back home when we can but have a hard time leaving this life in the Tri-Cities.

We love to hike, camp, enjoy the outdoors, travel, and play with our boxer dog, Allie. Let's be honest, our days revolve around her. We do not have kids of our own yet, so our fur baby rules. Jason also fly-fishes. We live very close to trophy fishing waters so he gets in the river as often as he can. I am a runner. I discovered my love for running about 2-3 years ago and recently finished my first marathon in November.

So this is who we were and where we were when things kind of changed.