Relay for life speech

Yesterday, I got the privilege to participate in the Washington County relay for life event.  I was their survivor speaker and here is my speech.  

Hi everyone. I want to being my thanking everyone here for taking time out of your weekend and money out of your pockets for your support. You are part of the reason that I am still here. My name is Kelly French and I am a cancer survivor. Before I begin to tell you my story, you need to know my ultimate goal here on this earth. I am a child of God and I believe that my life has a purpose for His good. I strive to live my life to serve Him with every chance that I am given. And this is only of those chances....

I am a 30 year old, pediatric physical therapist who was working full time and attempting to be successful as a wife and Boxer dog mom. Life was trucking along when I was diagnosed in January of this year with a rare form of ovarian cancer. I had what is called a malignant mixed germ cell tumor on my left ovary. Luckily, we caught my cancer early; however, because of its aggressive nature I was facing surgery and chemotherapy. So, in mid January, I had my left ovary and Fallopian tube removed and began 3 rounds, totaling 9 weeks of BEP chemo. I finished chemo on April 1st and as of May 6th, I am cancerfree! 

When I was asked to speak at this event and talk about my journey and about the American Cancer Society I was a bit nervous and had no idea really how to put my experience into words. I was confident in knowing that this was a tool (my cancer journey) that The Lord had intended me to use for His glory. So I hope that my story can benefit someone here. I am a runner and had just completed my first marathon in November of last year. Therefore, it was easy for me to compare my cancer journey to my marathon training. So that's what I'm going to talk about today. The need for knowledge, strength, hope, faith, support, and endurance when looking into cancer's face.

A running coach named Mike Fanelli once said regarding marathons, "I tell our runners to divide the race into thirds. Run the first part with you head, the middle part with your personality, and the last part with your heart." I had read this quote in the weeks preceding my marathon, trying to muster up the courage and willpower to finish strong and it stuck. After actually successfully finishing my race and facing cancer, this quote arose once again in my mind. 

"Run the first part with your head..." When running 26.2 miles, the pace you set for yourself, your hydration, your calorie intake, your knowledge of the course in the first third of the race are critical. Using your head will set the stage for the remainder of your journey. After I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, my husband and I spent a lot of time researching my particular cancer, prognosis, and outcomes. We were looking up my oncologists' credentials, treatment standards, and chemo regimens. During this time, I also contacted the American Cancer Society. They were so helpful in providing me with resources to help in the initial knowledge of this disease. There is also so much to be found on their website that is specific to each cancer. So with all of this knowledge of what we were facing, I was one step further along.

"...run the middle part with your personality..." As much as I like this running quote as it is, I would change personality to strength. When you are diagnosed with cancer, you have no other option but to be strong. It's time to fight a fight. Whatever stage your cancer is in, you are most likely facing some sort of treatment. During that treatment, you will need the strength of others. During my cancer journey, I learned the most about the need for others. Most importantly, God provided me with strength but my family and friends also kept me strong and upbeat. They showed me selflessness, even when they were struggling with my diagnosis and all the chaos it caused. The ACS will also be your support when you or your family or friends aren't capable. They will provide transportation when you can't drive to an appointment. They offer classes like Look Good, Feel Better, specifically for women to make them feel normal, if not beautiful in the midst of sickness. They provide you with wigs, scarves, and hats when you lose your hair during chemotherapy. They talk to you...they are a shoulder for you and your caregivers to lean on.

And run...."the last part with your heart". At mile 18 during a marathon, many runners hit what is called "the wall". You are running on fumes. Your legs feel like jello and each step forward takes considerable effort. You wonder why in the world you ever signed up to run such a thing. All that keeps you going is the contents of your heart. Regardless of your desire to finish and the condition of your heart, there are many outcomes. Some runners are unable to finish. Some finish and are very frail. Some finish strong. Much is the same with cancer. Marathon running and cancer are not even really comparable. You sign up for running...you definitely don't sign up for cancer. However, they are both journeys. Journeys that require strength, endurance, courage, and a willingness to fight. They both define who we are. They both also take their toll on our bodies. When we feel helpless, the ACS and all of the volunteers and sponsors are our hearts. They advocate, donate, encourage, educate and save our lives. They provide community events like this one to abolish cancer. They inform the community about cancer to aid in prevention and early detection. They raise money for research. They advocate for more birthdays!

The late, Gilda Radner once said "Having cancer gave me membership in an elite club I'd rather not belong to." We are in this together, part of an elite club if you will. But this club isn't quite like all the others. We take the good with the bad. The good is glorious and the bad can be devastating. We are often faced with tests, labs, surgeries, treatments, pain, fear, sadness, sickness, and even death. But we also are blessed with living life knowing that it doesn't last forever. We are given the chance to experience life in the way we should have been all along. This club is full of members, who I proudly stand next to that are courageous and strong, looking cancer straight in the face.

I pray for everyone here. I pray for the families of those we have lost to this disease, those currently fighting, and those in remission. I also thank our families, caregivers and friends. I am thankful for the American Cancer Society and all they are doing for us. With us all working together, I see a future where this disease loses and we gain. In closing, I urge you, members of this elite club and everyone who has been touched by this disease to stand strong in this fight and join hands with the ACS to conquer cancer. 

The Seven Year Itch

Vows...I gave them to a guy named Jason 7 years ago today.  We have all heard them and a lot of us have said them to someone along the way.  But to actually live them out, can we say that we do that?

...to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, in richer, in poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow...

I can say that in the part sever years, Jason and I have had the opportunity to see each other live out these vows with and without success.  We have experienced a ton of significant stuff together over the past seven years.  We were talking the other night about everything that has happened and here's a list of some of it:

We have moved twice.

Jason graduated medical school.

I started and graduated from PT school.

Jason started and finished residency.

We both started "real" jobs.

My grandmother died.

Both of his grandparents died.

I was diagnosed with and treated for cancer.

My parents were divorced.

I ran a marathon.

Family sicknesses.

Wow.  It seems unreal that all of that stressful stuff has happened in the past 7 years.  Jason has made the tough stuff tolerable.  He makes the stressful stuff worth it.  

I don't know how I really feel about writing about my relationship.  I feel that our love is a pretty private thing, but I do what to pay him respect and tell you just who he is to me!

Let's face it, Jason has had to deal with a lot being married to me.  I realize that and I take full responsibility for who I am.  I talk a lot, worry a lot, and whine a lot.  I come with drama, baggage, and bad habits.  I am a push over and rarely speak up for myself.  I am a horrible cook.  I am ignorant when it comes to finances.  But he loves me.  I know that people would say that I'm too hard on myself, but I'm being honest...and Jason would probably agree to most of this.  The beautiful thing is, Jason compliments most of these things.  He is quiet and reserved.  (He worries just like me!)  He dislikes and avoids drama.  He is an exceptional cook and keeps awesome track of our finances (I bet you don't have a pie chart depicting your monthly spending?!?!?). God knows exactly what we need!  As much as we are a mess, we are a complimenting mess.  We fill in each others missing pieces.  

Jason walked by my side through my cancer diagnosis without faltering.  At 31 years old, he spent hours with me at the doctor, sitting at chemo champ, shaving my head, taking trips to Walgreens, caring for my fatigue and nausea, and flushing out a PICC line on a daily basis.  He has seen me bald, seen with with serious dark circles under my eyes, and asleep with my mouth open at chemo (probably drooling).  I don't what more to say other than thank you.  This love is not fleeting.  He loved me with the love of God, whose love is unconditional.  

I am not the woman I was when he married me.  I'm not as young or as exciting or mysterious.  He knows all my quirky attributes and all my bad habits.  He truly knows me now and I think he's okay with all of the bad that comes with all the good.  I know that's how I feel about him.  I have learned so much more about him over the past 7 years that I would have loved then if I'd had known.  For instance, he fixes things.  If something breaks or goes wrong, he will research it or work on it until it is fixed.  He does not stop until it works as good, if not better, than it did before.  This comes in handy with a marriage.  Another one...he takes care of his possessions.  I have never seen anyone so careful with anything that he owns.  His car, his phone, his fishing stuff, his sunglasses (just to name a few) are always in immaculate condition.  Again, comes in handy in a marriage.  Lastly, he is honest.  I'm from the South and appreciate a little candy coating but Jason is honest.  I am thankful for that.  He keeps me grounded and keeps our marriage real.

I can't wait to see where our years take us!  And I'm so thankful he's mine.  I am grateful that God found enough favor on me to send me such a cool partner.  I love him dearly and pray that i can be half of what he is to me!  Happy anniversary Jason French (or Grinch)!  

Here's some pictures...the first one is on Father's Day weekend...then in October 2012....our honeymoon...wedding...proposal night...and the 2nd time we met!

Bloodwork

On May 3rd, my mom and I were headed back to my oncologist for my first follow-up appointment since I finished chemo at the first of April.  I was actually nice to be back at that office and see the people that I had grown to love!  My oncologist said that everything looked good and that I had healed well from my surgery back in January. He then had blood drawn to check on my tumor markers...AFP and hCG.  He said that it would take several days to get the results of this blood work.  I hate that my mom drove all the way from Knoxville to hear..."It's going to take a few days to know anything."

That following Monday, May 6th, then oncologist's office called to say that my tumor markers looked just fine.  My hCG was 2.5 mIU/mL and my AFP was 5.5 ng/mL, both of which are within normal limits.  They aren't zero...but that's a lot better than where they were.  Praise the Lord!  I have to admit that I wasn't overwhelmed with relief with this phone call.  Everyone that I told seemed to be pretty excited and I couldn't figure out why I wasn't. I think it's because I knew that it was okay.  I actually fully trusted the Lord with the outcome of my treatment and life.  I didn't fret over the results of the blood work over the weekend at all, really.  So I guess I wasn't surprised with the result.  Don't let my lack of excitement make you think that I'm not incredibly thankful with the outcome of my treatment.  I cannot believe that this valley is over for now.  The Lord has truly delivered me from this place.  He has proven himself faithful.  I am so thankful for His love and mercy.

So needless to say, this past week has been a whirlwind emotionally.  I can't even begin to explain how many different emotions that I have experienced...but I'm going to try and give you a short synopsis.

I feel unworthy.  For whatever reason, He love me and US.  Why?  I cannot believe or comprehend His great love for us.  I know that I never measure up.  I know it is purely because He is good and showers us with forgiveness and mercy.  I feel forever in debt for His gift of life, my life eternal and my health on earth.  I am having a hard time fathoming why He has given me such a good result.  We found my cancer early on (which most are not), blessed me with INCREDIBLE healthcare in my opinion, and my treatment worked without a hitch.  That's hard to swallow knowing that many other cancer patients do not have the same outcomes.  I know that He has a plan for us all and that my has just involved moving past this.  I will do my best to be sensitive to those who are handling this disease.  I will make efforts to advocate for those unable to do so.  I will not waste the life He has given me. 

I feel responsible.  I feel since my life is restored that I am responsible to use this experience as a tool for His kingdom.  Not many people have the opportunity to be given a tool as obvious as a cancer diagnosis to strengthen their testimony.  I always complained that I was too much of a sinner or that I didn't know enough foundational truth about the Bible and the Lord to make any difference or to be used for His good.  Well, He definitely heard this complain and although He knew that He would equip me if I were willing, He gave me an obvious tool.  Thank you Lord for spelling that one out for me!

Lastly, I feel incredible blessed and thankful.  We are to be thankful always.  He blesses us in so many ways everyday.  He blessed me during this trial, even when life was tough.  He never left my side.  He created us for His glory and our life was laid out before our creation.  This whole experience has taught me that my life is not my own.  It is truly a gift from the Lord.  I am so thankful for each day He gives us.  This life is not about our jobs, homes, cars, clothes, hobbies, pets, etc. that we constantly consume ourselves with.  Our whole existence is for Him.  He gives all we have and He can take any of it away.  It's all His and for Him and He is so worthy for all of US. Thank you for this journey Lord!

I have a lot more circulating through my head but I don't have time to write anymore.  I pray that each of you will allow the Lord to be ruler of your life.  He is your creator and desires to be near your heart.

I'm cancer free!  Woo-hoo! 

Until next time....

Update

Wow...I can't believe I haven't written on here since Easter! What a whirlwind Jason and I have been in over the past month! Since my last post, I finished chemo, sold a house, bought a house, started back to work part time, moved into the new house, and cleaned up the old house! Oh, and I turned 30 (which was welcomed for a change!)

Finishing Chemo-
April first was my last day of chemotherapy! This day left me with mixed emotions. I was so ready for chemo to be over and to start feeling normal again but I was also sad and scared. Chemo camp had become a part of my life. Honestly, it was my new normal. I gained several friendships at chemo and through this experience that I wasn't ready to leave. The doctor, nurses and staff at my infusion center were a family who took excellent care of me. They were a major part of my journey! I wasn't ready to leave them just yet. I was scared to return to life as I once knew it.

I was scared that my strengthened relationship with The Lord would return to its lukewarm state. I was scared that I would forget what He has done for us. Hard to believe you could forget who He is, huh?

I wondered why it was so easy for me to "get rid" of this cancer. So many others people cannot. Why me?

I was worried about going back to my "old life" different when everyone else stayed the same.

Lastly, I worried about leaving my security net at the infusion center. I was now on my own medically, trying to continue to ward off this disease. Before, If I had a question I could ask it. I guess I still could, but I'd annoy everyone to death in the process!

Looking back on my chemo finale, I see that all of those fears were produced in an attempt to dampen my hope and faith. I am so thankful for this experience, although painful. It was refreshing and renewing. My old life was purged, so my new life could make its way. My heart is softer and more open to those around me. I pray that my relationship with The Lord will stay the same. We need Him as much as I have through this all the time. Lord please stay close to me and its my desire to stay near to you. I think one of the greatest lessons up to this point is that we desperately need each other. We live lives that are so private. We build privacy fences, we want to be alone, we cover up our failures and our illnesses. We need others. We need encouragement, love, support, advice, and fellowship with each other. Everyone has a story, listen.

Out with the old, in with the new HOUSE-
Jason and I bought a new house obviously. Not really sure why but we did. I think we realized that we were saving money for a future that may or may not happen. I'm sure some may say that this is very bad timing but it was a new start for us. The funny thing is, our new start is less than 1 mile away!

So that's kind of where we are to this point. I'm back at work part time and doing pretty well with it. I'm still dealing with fatigue but I'm overcoming it slowly.

I went back to my oncologist this past Friday for my follow up. He drew some blood to check my AFP levels. This protein level should be virtually no existent. Praying for low, low numbers. We should know some time this week!

Thanks for reading this! All of you all are a blessing and a major part of my journey. I don't know how this would have all transpired without the love of His people and the fellowship that we share in this world!

With love,
Kelly

Easter Sunday

Hello everyone! Happy Easter! I hope everyone had a great day full of family and faith. I cannot begin to to tell you how thankful I am for the gift of eternal life that we are celebrating today. Thank you Lord for the ultimate sacrifice of your only son so that we can be free! The grave has been defeated and I am more than grateful.

On this Easter Sunday, I am getting ready for my last day of chemotherapy tomorrow. It is so surreal to be in this place. I never thought I would make it here this fast or this seemingly healthy. Tomorrow will hopefully be the last time that I have to sit in the "chemo" chair and let chemicals course through my veins with a primary purpose to kill so many of my cells. It will also be the last day that I will have to have a PICC line hanging from my upper arm. In so many ways I am more than excited for tomorrow. But in just as many ways, I am almost sad. I can't tell if I'm sad or just scared. Tomorrow will also be the last day that I will get to spend time with some of the friends I have made. My schedule will change tremendously tomorrow. Tomorrow I begin my first steps toward survivorship. And I'm scared but excited. I think I'm more excited....see ya cancer.

I don't think it's by any coincidence that I am finishing chemotherapy the day after Easter. I also don't think it's by any coincidence that my 30th birthday is in a few weeks either. When I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, my slate was wiped clean. I was purified and given a new life, a new start. I now had eternal life. On Easter, The Lord sacrificed His son to save the world. Tomorrow I am also given a new start. God had given me a new perspective, a new start, a deeper respect for life, and a stronger love for Him through this trial. He has refined me and continues to do so.

I'm ready to see what this next step has in store. I'm ready to enter my "normal" life renewed.

"Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die." John 11:25-26

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead..." 1 Peter 1:3

Happy Easter! He makes all things new!

Lost for a moment

Hello all! I come to you after finishing my second to last chemotherapy treatment...hopefully forever! You would think that I would have been somewhat excited but I was actually in a pretty bad mood this morning, which I will explain.

First off though, one (ONE!?!?!?) more chemo treatment left next Monday! I can't even begin to explain the anticipation of almost being finished! Almost to the finish line, but that's the hardest part right? My chemo nurse also mentioned to us that I may get my PICC line out on Monday too! I can take a bath, not wear a "ShowerSOC" every time my arm may get wet, and no more late night PICC line flushes! God has truly spared me with only needing a PICC for 10 weeks and I am thankful but itching to get this thing out (it really does itch too :)).

Now onto the honest truth around my night and morning on treatment 20. I laid my head down last night as I went to bed and was hoping for a restful evening with little back pain and a quick transition to morning. I have been wishing my past few days away after it being my long chemo week and feeling rather bad. I was just waiting for the weekend to be over so I could have some reprieve. Friday after my long chemo week was what I expected. By evening, I was feeling the cumulative wear of 5 straight days of chemo. My body was worn out...too tired to really move, get ready, or be a wife. I have learned that the worst of it would be from Saturday morning to Sunday evening and that I could do it...I already had 2 times before. Reprieve came about 9 pm Sunday and I was looking for a decent night. Physically I was in a tolerable place but spiritually I was not.

Satan joined me last night. He frequently comes around to spoil everything. I let him yesterday. I was worn...I was exhausted...I was hopeless (even knowing a Lord and Savior who conquers death). Here is what my mind was spinning around:

1. You are so close to being finished. What if it didn't work? You only think this is over.
2. Where is your faith in your God? You should BELIEVE that if you ask that He will provide. You don't really think He can heal you?
3. Along the same lines, you are too scared to boldly ask for healing because you don't want to be disappointed. You don't trust him.
4. I think I can do it without God. I felt like He would remind me of this suffering and pain. That after I am done with chemo and this is past me that I will be find back in my mundane life. Seriously? I am quite ashamed to admit this one. He knew my heart here and so should you if I'm to tell this story. I didn't want my life to change. I wanted to be ignorant to death. I wanted my life without trouble. He never promised that though...

So, obviously I had some spiritual warfare to deal with last night. I did not come to any finality regarding my thoughts before I went to bed. I tossed and turned all night. My back hurt a lot....making me more anxious. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I was angry...irritated...tired of my "affliction". I was sick to my stomach and had a racing pulse. Pretty much feeling sorry for myself when I have 2 chemo treatments left and my prognosis is almost curable by the standards of the world. I had made it 8 weeks without getting infection and having a job where I could take off work for 12 weeks. Really, Kelly? Not to mention my support system, I let all of us down...especially my Father. This needed to happen. I needed to question my faith and my trust. I needed a reminder of His sovereignty (that's sad isn't it?). The vine and branches story really proved true for me this week...Sudoku doesn't cut it for spiritual well-being during chemo. My heart was not emerged in His word and I suffered (and whoever else I depressed today!).

I came home from chemo...slept....watched HGTV....ignored more phone calls...and got my act together. Here are some examples of our awesome God. He is there for us...always...no matter what. Even when we push him away. He whispered to me in several ways today. He was gentle where He could have been stern (and He could have and may still be stern).

1. The sparrow. Well, it was actually a large bird above the interstate. On the way to chemo as I was dealing with my attitude I noticed a couple of birds flying over the interstate. They were up there soaring in the wind, living their life. Looking for food, looking for something, enjoying the view. It reminded me of this scripture:

"Are two sparrows not sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside of your Father's care." Matthew 10:29

He loves us all. He has a plan for us all. But we are small. There is a plan greater than my life, my time on this earth, the earth even. I can't worry about it...I'm part of the plan. Trust me Kelly.

2. My daily devotional once again. I have mentioned the pertinence of my daily devotional several times before and it proved again to be true. This book has been a gift from The Lord! Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman, I highly recommend. Today's scripture is Hebrews 11:6.

"Without faith is is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

What do I have to lose? I must have faith. Up to this point, my faith hasn't really been tested. My testimony regarding trust was lacking in the personal history department. I thank God for placing me here. My testimony is strengthened to be a more vital part of His plan.

This devotion also mentions Psalm 107 and the story of Daniel and the fiery furnace. Psalm 107 continually repeats, "Let them give thanks to The Lord for his unfailing love, and his wonderful deeds for mankind" because He delivered His people. He was faithful to His promise and He answered our prayers. He is trustworthy!

Lastly, in the story of Daniel (Dan. 3:17-18) Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego state to the king, "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." He is capable of rescuing us but we must be ready if it is His will that we are not. This is where I struggle. This is where I bargain, reason, and lose sight of the purpose of my life. I am selfish but for what? Do I really think that I could come up with a better story for my life? I could live a life of love, luxury, good fortune, prosperity, and many years, I guess. But then I'd die. If i had my way, my story would definitely not involve cancer or suffering. But I'd still die without hope. The Lord has sent His son to die for my sins, a debt paid, so that I could have everlasting life to spend in eternity in Heaven. And I still want my story and my way? Lord, open my eyes to the promise you have for those who call upon your name. I pick you.

3. Lastly, Louie Giglio has always grounded me. I happened to come across one of his talks about hope today as I was trying to filter through my funk. I will place a link on here or on Facebook so you can check it out if you are interested. He pretty much discussed how God does not promise an easy life. Life will have life-altering trouble. It will come. It will happen to all of us. I think that with this cancer stuff, I feel that I have suffered my part now. Haha. I doubt that. So apparently I am spared from all pain for the rest of my life? I have suffered enough! The question is, have I learned enough? The Lord of the universe is molding me with his hands to be his servant, to bring Him glory and to worship him. Am I done suffering? Hopefully, for a little while physically, but I hope he loves me enough to continue to shape me for his good. Suffering is good. Without Him, it is insurmountable...like for me last night and this morning. But not anymore. Thank you for pursuing me today my King. And for such a small piece of your puzzle.

Hope this finds all of you well. I love each and every one of you and I pray for you! I am honored to serve The Lord beside my brothers and sisters in Christ and am thankful for His gift of fellowship. For those of you who do not know The Lord, please ask me about Him. Please ask someone about Him! He has a life for you that you cannot imagine that defeats death!

Happy Easter week! :) He is coating my piece of Earth with snow as we speak! Thank you for rebirth my Lord!

He is bigger

Hello everyone! I am officially through with my second cycle of chemotherapy! I am two thirds of the way through! I start my last long week on Monday and am anxious to get it behind it but am also dreading the way I will feel. Don't get me wrong, I am very blessed to have only felt bad for a few days in each cycle! However, you don't feel your best by any means.

I haven't updated this blog is about a week because I haven't had a whole lot to say. I have just been making it through this week and have kept to myself for most of it. Jason and I have had some great friends visit a couple of times this week and we had a great time with each of them. Not to mention the beautiful weather that we had yesterday! We actually tossed around a frisbee with our good friends yesterday next to the South Holston River! I do have an idea for something to talk about finally.

I have been following a family on Facebook that have recently lost their daughter unexpectedly to a brain tumor. Our friends that are missionaries in Kenya know this family because they are also missionaries. In order to not tell the whole story, their one-year-old baby girl was diagnosed with a medulloblastoma, had a surgery to remove it, and passed away all within a few days. Of course her story is much greater than this. Both of her parents have been open about her story through blogs. I cannot even begin to tell you how much this family and their story has touched my life. I am sure this is the same case for many, many other people that have followed their story.

I am incredibly humbled by this story. I know her parents are overwhelmed, heartbroken, and lost without their youngest child but they have shown faith and trust in The Lord and have praised Him from the get go. Their words about their daughter and her life and purpose are inspiring. They have stated over and over that their strength through this is from The Lord. It is through His grace. I think the biggest impact that this story had had in my life is how God has used such a young child to spread His name. This baby girl was unable to tell others about Christ. She was on this earth for less than 2 years and has moved mountains (I do not doubt). Her dad had mentioned that He wanted to share the name of Jesus through their work as missionaries and he had no idea that his daughter would be the one to introduce her family to the world to aid in supporting their mission.

Our God is bigger than our circumstances. Our God is bigger than cancer. Our God uses the least of these. Who can fathom that He can use the saddest situations and the youngest of children to make the impact that it has? Why do we question His power? Why do we question His plan? Shouldn't we just rest assured that we are in His hands regardless? His plan for us is far greater than what we can comprehend...even through struggle, loss, and sadness. He is there is joy, pain, life and death. He never leaves us. He is always by our side. We must have faith and hope in His promises. We must be obedient to His calling. He will bless us greater that we can imagine if we are obedient and hope in Him.

I am humbled by this sweet baby who has met our Savior. She has inspired me. I have had the opportunity to live an amazing 29 years in this life. She lived less than 2. My life has been a gift and I am tired of living each day without telling the world about this gift. Thank you Lord for my life. Thank you for my story. Please continue to humble me. Open my eyes to your purpose for my life. My life is yours. Give me the courage to tell Your story. Amen.

My life has gone in a direction that I wold not have chosen. This is not my idea of prospering. But it's not up to me nor do I trust my plan for this life. He is using my situation in ways that I cannot comprehend. He is equipping me for the rest of my life. I am thankful that he loves me enough to teach me. I will praise him through it all.

I hope I have correctly displayed this family and this sweet girl through this blog. Please pray for this family as they mourn the loss of this daughter. Pray for their mission work and that the name of The Lord and his great works will be spread.

Cycle three, here we come!!!