It took a leap of faith. I went to the American Cancer Society yesterday morning with my mom and Aunt Cindy by my side for a different kind of makeover. I was there to try on different wigs and hopefully find one to take home. I mentioned in my last blog how incredible this organization was but let me just reiterate that fact. They are wonderful. I speak for my family and I when I say that I have made 2 new friends. Jessica, who works for ACS was incredibly knowledgable with anything cancer-related. She also had Allison, an ETSU student, with her. They were both sincerely understanding and provided me with support and wisdom.
I tried on many wigs in all colors, styles, and types. Basically, you can get a synthetic blend wig or one made of human hair. I chose a human hair wig because it just felt real. And looked real too! It was really amazing how good they looked! The room that we tried the wigs on in looked just like a professional dressing room. It was beautiful and very "girly". I also had the opportunity to try on different hats, scarves, and turbans. Don't worry, there are pictures to document this day!
I left this place with a brand new human hair wig provided to the ACS by "Beautiful Lengths", a program sponsored by Pantene, as well as, a head wrap and scarf that were all donated. I am so grateful for this service. We laughed the whole time we were there and my face hurt because I smiled so much! But most importantly, I left with a sense of self. With each wig I tried on, I looked pretty different but I was still me. Cancer can take my hair but it can't take who I am. I conquered cancer today and I plan on doing the same tomorrow, and the day after that....
When I was first diagnosed and knew I needed chemotherapy, I really did not think about the effects of treatment. I just wanted to live. I still just want to live. So in my mind, it's hard to be upset about losing my hair. It seems like such a vain thing to be worried about. I should be worried about my life. In knowing that my cancer has a high cure rate, smaller worries were creeping in, such as hair loss. When this unknown comes lurking, He tells me not to hide. He doesn't want this story to be hidden. My bald head will tell a tale. I want to be proud to be bald because I'll be alive and living is beautiful.
So throughout the day, I was reminded of the definition of true beauty through the eyes of our Maker. This world may have its own idea of what is beautiful but I will chose what He values every time. My worldly beauty will not get me any closer to where my heart desires but the beauty of my heart will. And don't get me wrong, my heart is not always beautiful. I think striving for it is a start though.
"Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."
2 Peter 3:3-4
And yes...I did take pictures with the iPad of my pictures off of the computer (for you, Jason).
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