Relay for life speech

Yesterday, I got the privilege to participate in the Washington County relay for life event.  I was their survivor speaker and here is my speech.  

Hi everyone. I want to being my thanking everyone here for taking time out of your weekend and money out of your pockets for your support. You are part of the reason that I am still here. My name is Kelly French and I am a cancer survivor. Before I begin to tell you my story, you need to know my ultimate goal here on this earth. I am a child of God and I believe that my life has a purpose for His good. I strive to live my life to serve Him with every chance that I am given. And this is only of those chances....

I am a 30 year old, pediatric physical therapist who was working full time and attempting to be successful as a wife and Boxer dog mom. Life was trucking along when I was diagnosed in January of this year with a rare form of ovarian cancer. I had what is called a malignant mixed germ cell tumor on my left ovary. Luckily, we caught my cancer early; however, because of its aggressive nature I was facing surgery and chemotherapy. So, in mid January, I had my left ovary and Fallopian tube removed and began 3 rounds, totaling 9 weeks of BEP chemo. I finished chemo on April 1st and as of May 6th, I am cancerfree! 

When I was asked to speak at this event and talk about my journey and about the American Cancer Society I was a bit nervous and had no idea really how to put my experience into words. I was confident in knowing that this was a tool (my cancer journey) that The Lord had intended me to use for His glory. So I hope that my story can benefit someone here. I am a runner and had just completed my first marathon in November of last year. Therefore, it was easy for me to compare my cancer journey to my marathon training. So that's what I'm going to talk about today. The need for knowledge, strength, hope, faith, support, and endurance when looking into cancer's face.

A running coach named Mike Fanelli once said regarding marathons, "I tell our runners to divide the race into thirds. Run the first part with you head, the middle part with your personality, and the last part with your heart." I had read this quote in the weeks preceding my marathon, trying to muster up the courage and willpower to finish strong and it stuck. After actually successfully finishing my race and facing cancer, this quote arose once again in my mind. 

"Run the first part with your head..." When running 26.2 miles, the pace you set for yourself, your hydration, your calorie intake, your knowledge of the course in the first third of the race are critical. Using your head will set the stage for the remainder of your journey. After I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, my husband and I spent a lot of time researching my particular cancer, prognosis, and outcomes. We were looking up my oncologists' credentials, treatment standards, and chemo regimens. During this time, I also contacted the American Cancer Society. They were so helpful in providing me with resources to help in the initial knowledge of this disease. There is also so much to be found on their website that is specific to each cancer. So with all of this knowledge of what we were facing, I was one step further along.

"...run the middle part with your personality..." As much as I like this running quote as it is, I would change personality to strength. When you are diagnosed with cancer, you have no other option but to be strong. It's time to fight a fight. Whatever stage your cancer is in, you are most likely facing some sort of treatment. During that treatment, you will need the strength of others. During my cancer journey, I learned the most about the need for others. Most importantly, God provided me with strength but my family and friends also kept me strong and upbeat. They showed me selflessness, even when they were struggling with my diagnosis and all the chaos it caused. The ACS will also be your support when you or your family or friends aren't capable. They will provide transportation when you can't drive to an appointment. They offer classes like Look Good, Feel Better, specifically for women to make them feel normal, if not beautiful in the midst of sickness. They provide you with wigs, scarves, and hats when you lose your hair during chemotherapy. They talk to you...they are a shoulder for you and your caregivers to lean on.

And run...."the last part with your heart". At mile 18 during a marathon, many runners hit what is called "the wall". You are running on fumes. Your legs feel like jello and each step forward takes considerable effort. You wonder why in the world you ever signed up to run such a thing. All that keeps you going is the contents of your heart. Regardless of your desire to finish and the condition of your heart, there are many outcomes. Some runners are unable to finish. Some finish and are very frail. Some finish strong. Much is the same with cancer. Marathon running and cancer are not even really comparable. You sign up for running...you definitely don't sign up for cancer. However, they are both journeys. Journeys that require strength, endurance, courage, and a willingness to fight. They both define who we are. They both also take their toll on our bodies. When we feel helpless, the ACS and all of the volunteers and sponsors are our hearts. They advocate, donate, encourage, educate and save our lives. They provide community events like this one to abolish cancer. They inform the community about cancer to aid in prevention and early detection. They raise money for research. They advocate for more birthdays!

The late, Gilda Radner once said "Having cancer gave me membership in an elite club I'd rather not belong to." We are in this together, part of an elite club if you will. But this club isn't quite like all the others. We take the good with the bad. The good is glorious and the bad can be devastating. We are often faced with tests, labs, surgeries, treatments, pain, fear, sadness, sickness, and even death. But we also are blessed with living life knowing that it doesn't last forever. We are given the chance to experience life in the way we should have been all along. This club is full of members, who I proudly stand next to that are courageous and strong, looking cancer straight in the face.

I pray for everyone here. I pray for the families of those we have lost to this disease, those currently fighting, and those in remission. I also thank our families, caregivers and friends. I am thankful for the American Cancer Society and all they are doing for us. With us all working together, I see a future where this disease loses and we gain. In closing, I urge you, members of this elite club and everyone who has been touched by this disease to stand strong in this fight and join hands with the ACS to conquer cancer. 

The Seven Year Itch

Vows...I gave them to a guy named Jason 7 years ago today.  We have all heard them and a lot of us have said them to someone along the way.  But to actually live them out, can we say that we do that?

...to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, in richer, in poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow...

I can say that in the part sever years, Jason and I have had the opportunity to see each other live out these vows with and without success.  We have experienced a ton of significant stuff together over the past seven years.  We were talking the other night about everything that has happened and here's a list of some of it:

We have moved twice.

Jason graduated medical school.

I started and graduated from PT school.

Jason started and finished residency.

We both started "real" jobs.

My grandmother died.

Both of his grandparents died.

I was diagnosed with and treated for cancer.

My parents were divorced.

I ran a marathon.

Family sicknesses.

Wow.  It seems unreal that all of that stressful stuff has happened in the past 7 years.  Jason has made the tough stuff tolerable.  He makes the stressful stuff worth it.  

I don't know how I really feel about writing about my relationship.  I feel that our love is a pretty private thing, but I do what to pay him respect and tell you just who he is to me!

Let's face it, Jason has had to deal with a lot being married to me.  I realize that and I take full responsibility for who I am.  I talk a lot, worry a lot, and whine a lot.  I come with drama, baggage, and bad habits.  I am a push over and rarely speak up for myself.  I am a horrible cook.  I am ignorant when it comes to finances.  But he loves me.  I know that people would say that I'm too hard on myself, but I'm being honest...and Jason would probably agree to most of this.  The beautiful thing is, Jason compliments most of these things.  He is quiet and reserved.  (He worries just like me!)  He dislikes and avoids drama.  He is an exceptional cook and keeps awesome track of our finances (I bet you don't have a pie chart depicting your monthly spending?!?!?). God knows exactly what we need!  As much as we are a mess, we are a complimenting mess.  We fill in each others missing pieces.  

Jason walked by my side through my cancer diagnosis without faltering.  At 31 years old, he spent hours with me at the doctor, sitting at chemo champ, shaving my head, taking trips to Walgreens, caring for my fatigue and nausea, and flushing out a PICC line on a daily basis.  He has seen me bald, seen with with serious dark circles under my eyes, and asleep with my mouth open at chemo (probably drooling).  I don't what more to say other than thank you.  This love is not fleeting.  He loved me with the love of God, whose love is unconditional.  

I am not the woman I was when he married me.  I'm not as young or as exciting or mysterious.  He knows all my quirky attributes and all my bad habits.  He truly knows me now and I think he's okay with all of the bad that comes with all the good.  I know that's how I feel about him.  I have learned so much more about him over the past 7 years that I would have loved then if I'd had known.  For instance, he fixes things.  If something breaks or goes wrong, he will research it or work on it until it is fixed.  He does not stop until it works as good, if not better, than it did before.  This comes in handy with a marriage.  Another one...he takes care of his possessions.  I have never seen anyone so careful with anything that he owns.  His car, his phone, his fishing stuff, his sunglasses (just to name a few) are always in immaculate condition.  Again, comes in handy in a marriage.  Lastly, he is honest.  I'm from the South and appreciate a little candy coating but Jason is honest.  I am thankful for that.  He keeps me grounded and keeps our marriage real.

I can't wait to see where our years take us!  And I'm so thankful he's mine.  I am grateful that God found enough favor on me to send me such a cool partner.  I love him dearly and pray that i can be half of what he is to me!  Happy anniversary Jason French (or Grinch)!  

Here's some pictures...the first one is on Father's Day weekend...then in October 2012....our honeymoon...wedding...proposal night...and the 2nd time we met!

Bloodwork

On May 3rd, my mom and I were headed back to my oncologist for my first follow-up appointment since I finished chemo at the first of April.  I was actually nice to be back at that office and see the people that I had grown to love!  My oncologist said that everything looked good and that I had healed well from my surgery back in January. He then had blood drawn to check on my tumor markers...AFP and hCG.  He said that it would take several days to get the results of this blood work.  I hate that my mom drove all the way from Knoxville to hear..."It's going to take a few days to know anything."

That following Monday, May 6th, then oncologist's office called to say that my tumor markers looked just fine.  My hCG was 2.5 mIU/mL and my AFP was 5.5 ng/mL, both of which are within normal limits.  They aren't zero...but that's a lot better than where they were.  Praise the Lord!  I have to admit that I wasn't overwhelmed with relief with this phone call.  Everyone that I told seemed to be pretty excited and I couldn't figure out why I wasn't. I think it's because I knew that it was okay.  I actually fully trusted the Lord with the outcome of my treatment and life.  I didn't fret over the results of the blood work over the weekend at all, really.  So I guess I wasn't surprised with the result.  Don't let my lack of excitement make you think that I'm not incredibly thankful with the outcome of my treatment.  I cannot believe that this valley is over for now.  The Lord has truly delivered me from this place.  He has proven himself faithful.  I am so thankful for His love and mercy.

So needless to say, this past week has been a whirlwind emotionally.  I can't even begin to explain how many different emotions that I have experienced...but I'm going to try and give you a short synopsis.

I feel unworthy.  For whatever reason, He love me and US.  Why?  I cannot believe or comprehend His great love for us.  I know that I never measure up.  I know it is purely because He is good and showers us with forgiveness and mercy.  I feel forever in debt for His gift of life, my life eternal and my health on earth.  I am having a hard time fathoming why He has given me such a good result.  We found my cancer early on (which most are not), blessed me with INCREDIBLE healthcare in my opinion, and my treatment worked without a hitch.  That's hard to swallow knowing that many other cancer patients do not have the same outcomes.  I know that He has a plan for us all and that my has just involved moving past this.  I will do my best to be sensitive to those who are handling this disease.  I will make efforts to advocate for those unable to do so.  I will not waste the life He has given me. 

I feel responsible.  I feel since my life is restored that I am responsible to use this experience as a tool for His kingdom.  Not many people have the opportunity to be given a tool as obvious as a cancer diagnosis to strengthen their testimony.  I always complained that I was too much of a sinner or that I didn't know enough foundational truth about the Bible and the Lord to make any difference or to be used for His good.  Well, He definitely heard this complain and although He knew that He would equip me if I were willing, He gave me an obvious tool.  Thank you Lord for spelling that one out for me!

Lastly, I feel incredible blessed and thankful.  We are to be thankful always.  He blesses us in so many ways everyday.  He blessed me during this trial, even when life was tough.  He never left my side.  He created us for His glory and our life was laid out before our creation.  This whole experience has taught me that my life is not my own.  It is truly a gift from the Lord.  I am so thankful for each day He gives us.  This life is not about our jobs, homes, cars, clothes, hobbies, pets, etc. that we constantly consume ourselves with.  Our whole existence is for Him.  He gives all we have and He can take any of it away.  It's all His and for Him and He is so worthy for all of US. Thank you for this journey Lord!

I have a lot more circulating through my head but I don't have time to write anymore.  I pray that each of you will allow the Lord to be ruler of your life.  He is your creator and desires to be near your heart.

I'm cancer free!  Woo-hoo! 

Until next time....

Update

Wow...I can't believe I haven't written on here since Easter! What a whirlwind Jason and I have been in over the past month! Since my last post, I finished chemo, sold a house, bought a house, started back to work part time, moved into the new house, and cleaned up the old house! Oh, and I turned 30 (which was welcomed for a change!)

Finishing Chemo-
April first was my last day of chemotherapy! This day left me with mixed emotions. I was so ready for chemo to be over and to start feeling normal again but I was also sad and scared. Chemo camp had become a part of my life. Honestly, it was my new normal. I gained several friendships at chemo and through this experience that I wasn't ready to leave. The doctor, nurses and staff at my infusion center were a family who took excellent care of me. They were a major part of my journey! I wasn't ready to leave them just yet. I was scared to return to life as I once knew it.

I was scared that my strengthened relationship with The Lord would return to its lukewarm state. I was scared that I would forget what He has done for us. Hard to believe you could forget who He is, huh?

I wondered why it was so easy for me to "get rid" of this cancer. So many others people cannot. Why me?

I was worried about going back to my "old life" different when everyone else stayed the same.

Lastly, I worried about leaving my security net at the infusion center. I was now on my own medically, trying to continue to ward off this disease. Before, If I had a question I could ask it. I guess I still could, but I'd annoy everyone to death in the process!

Looking back on my chemo finale, I see that all of those fears were produced in an attempt to dampen my hope and faith. I am so thankful for this experience, although painful. It was refreshing and renewing. My old life was purged, so my new life could make its way. My heart is softer and more open to those around me. I pray that my relationship with The Lord will stay the same. We need Him as much as I have through this all the time. Lord please stay close to me and its my desire to stay near to you. I think one of the greatest lessons up to this point is that we desperately need each other. We live lives that are so private. We build privacy fences, we want to be alone, we cover up our failures and our illnesses. We need others. We need encouragement, love, support, advice, and fellowship with each other. Everyone has a story, listen.

Out with the old, in with the new HOUSE-
Jason and I bought a new house obviously. Not really sure why but we did. I think we realized that we were saving money for a future that may or may not happen. I'm sure some may say that this is very bad timing but it was a new start for us. The funny thing is, our new start is less than 1 mile away!

So that's kind of where we are to this point. I'm back at work part time and doing pretty well with it. I'm still dealing with fatigue but I'm overcoming it slowly.

I went back to my oncologist this past Friday for my follow up. He drew some blood to check my AFP levels. This protein level should be virtually no existent. Praying for low, low numbers. We should know some time this week!

Thanks for reading this! All of you all are a blessing and a major part of my journey. I don't know how this would have all transpired without the love of His people and the fellowship that we share in this world!

With love,
Kelly

Easter Sunday

Hello everyone! Happy Easter! I hope everyone had a great day full of family and faith. I cannot begin to to tell you how thankful I am for the gift of eternal life that we are celebrating today. Thank you Lord for the ultimate sacrifice of your only son so that we can be free! The grave has been defeated and I am more than grateful.

On this Easter Sunday, I am getting ready for my last day of chemotherapy tomorrow. It is so surreal to be in this place. I never thought I would make it here this fast or this seemingly healthy. Tomorrow will hopefully be the last time that I have to sit in the "chemo" chair and let chemicals course through my veins with a primary purpose to kill so many of my cells. It will also be the last day that I will have to have a PICC line hanging from my upper arm. In so many ways I am more than excited for tomorrow. But in just as many ways, I am almost sad. I can't tell if I'm sad or just scared. Tomorrow will also be the last day that I will get to spend time with some of the friends I have made. My schedule will change tremendously tomorrow. Tomorrow I begin my first steps toward survivorship. And I'm scared but excited. I think I'm more excited....see ya cancer.

I don't think it's by any coincidence that I am finishing chemotherapy the day after Easter. I also don't think it's by any coincidence that my 30th birthday is in a few weeks either. When I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, my slate was wiped clean. I was purified and given a new life, a new start. I now had eternal life. On Easter, The Lord sacrificed His son to save the world. Tomorrow I am also given a new start. God had given me a new perspective, a new start, a deeper respect for life, and a stronger love for Him through this trial. He has refined me and continues to do so.

I'm ready to see what this next step has in store. I'm ready to enter my "normal" life renewed.

"Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die." John 11:25-26

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead..." 1 Peter 1:3

Happy Easter! He makes all things new!

Lost for a moment

Hello all! I come to you after finishing my second to last chemotherapy treatment...hopefully forever! You would think that I would have been somewhat excited but I was actually in a pretty bad mood this morning, which I will explain.

First off though, one (ONE!?!?!?) more chemo treatment left next Monday! I can't even begin to explain the anticipation of almost being finished! Almost to the finish line, but that's the hardest part right? My chemo nurse also mentioned to us that I may get my PICC line out on Monday too! I can take a bath, not wear a "ShowerSOC" every time my arm may get wet, and no more late night PICC line flushes! God has truly spared me with only needing a PICC for 10 weeks and I am thankful but itching to get this thing out (it really does itch too :)).

Now onto the honest truth around my night and morning on treatment 20. I laid my head down last night as I went to bed and was hoping for a restful evening with little back pain and a quick transition to morning. I have been wishing my past few days away after it being my long chemo week and feeling rather bad. I was just waiting for the weekend to be over so I could have some reprieve. Friday after my long chemo week was what I expected. By evening, I was feeling the cumulative wear of 5 straight days of chemo. My body was worn out...too tired to really move, get ready, or be a wife. I have learned that the worst of it would be from Saturday morning to Sunday evening and that I could do it...I already had 2 times before. Reprieve came about 9 pm Sunday and I was looking for a decent night. Physically I was in a tolerable place but spiritually I was not.

Satan joined me last night. He frequently comes around to spoil everything. I let him yesterday. I was worn...I was exhausted...I was hopeless (even knowing a Lord and Savior who conquers death). Here is what my mind was spinning around:

1. You are so close to being finished. What if it didn't work? You only think this is over.
2. Where is your faith in your God? You should BELIEVE that if you ask that He will provide. You don't really think He can heal you?
3. Along the same lines, you are too scared to boldly ask for healing because you don't want to be disappointed. You don't trust him.
4. I think I can do it without God. I felt like He would remind me of this suffering and pain. That after I am done with chemo and this is past me that I will be find back in my mundane life. Seriously? I am quite ashamed to admit this one. He knew my heart here and so should you if I'm to tell this story. I didn't want my life to change. I wanted to be ignorant to death. I wanted my life without trouble. He never promised that though...

So, obviously I had some spiritual warfare to deal with last night. I did not come to any finality regarding my thoughts before I went to bed. I tossed and turned all night. My back hurt a lot....making me more anxious. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I was angry...irritated...tired of my "affliction". I was sick to my stomach and had a racing pulse. Pretty much feeling sorry for myself when I have 2 chemo treatments left and my prognosis is almost curable by the standards of the world. I had made it 8 weeks without getting infection and having a job where I could take off work for 12 weeks. Really, Kelly? Not to mention my support system, I let all of us down...especially my Father. This needed to happen. I needed to question my faith and my trust. I needed a reminder of His sovereignty (that's sad isn't it?). The vine and branches story really proved true for me this week...Sudoku doesn't cut it for spiritual well-being during chemo. My heart was not emerged in His word and I suffered (and whoever else I depressed today!).

I came home from chemo...slept....watched HGTV....ignored more phone calls...and got my act together. Here are some examples of our awesome God. He is there for us...always...no matter what. Even when we push him away. He whispered to me in several ways today. He was gentle where He could have been stern (and He could have and may still be stern).

1. The sparrow. Well, it was actually a large bird above the interstate. On the way to chemo as I was dealing with my attitude I noticed a couple of birds flying over the interstate. They were up there soaring in the wind, living their life. Looking for food, looking for something, enjoying the view. It reminded me of this scripture:

"Are two sparrows not sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside of your Father's care." Matthew 10:29

He loves us all. He has a plan for us all. But we are small. There is a plan greater than my life, my time on this earth, the earth even. I can't worry about it...I'm part of the plan. Trust me Kelly.

2. My daily devotional once again. I have mentioned the pertinence of my daily devotional several times before and it proved again to be true. This book has been a gift from The Lord! Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman, I highly recommend. Today's scripture is Hebrews 11:6.

"Without faith is is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

What do I have to lose? I must have faith. Up to this point, my faith hasn't really been tested. My testimony regarding trust was lacking in the personal history department. I thank God for placing me here. My testimony is strengthened to be a more vital part of His plan.

This devotion also mentions Psalm 107 and the story of Daniel and the fiery furnace. Psalm 107 continually repeats, "Let them give thanks to The Lord for his unfailing love, and his wonderful deeds for mankind" because He delivered His people. He was faithful to His promise and He answered our prayers. He is trustworthy!

Lastly, in the story of Daniel (Dan. 3:17-18) Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego state to the king, "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." He is capable of rescuing us but we must be ready if it is His will that we are not. This is where I struggle. This is where I bargain, reason, and lose sight of the purpose of my life. I am selfish but for what? Do I really think that I could come up with a better story for my life? I could live a life of love, luxury, good fortune, prosperity, and many years, I guess. But then I'd die. If i had my way, my story would definitely not involve cancer or suffering. But I'd still die without hope. The Lord has sent His son to die for my sins, a debt paid, so that I could have everlasting life to spend in eternity in Heaven. And I still want my story and my way? Lord, open my eyes to the promise you have for those who call upon your name. I pick you.

3. Lastly, Louie Giglio has always grounded me. I happened to come across one of his talks about hope today as I was trying to filter through my funk. I will place a link on here or on Facebook so you can check it out if you are interested. He pretty much discussed how God does not promise an easy life. Life will have life-altering trouble. It will come. It will happen to all of us. I think that with this cancer stuff, I feel that I have suffered my part now. Haha. I doubt that. So apparently I am spared from all pain for the rest of my life? I have suffered enough! The question is, have I learned enough? The Lord of the universe is molding me with his hands to be his servant, to bring Him glory and to worship him. Am I done suffering? Hopefully, for a little while physically, but I hope he loves me enough to continue to shape me for his good. Suffering is good. Without Him, it is insurmountable...like for me last night and this morning. But not anymore. Thank you for pursuing me today my King. And for such a small piece of your puzzle.

Hope this finds all of you well. I love each and every one of you and I pray for you! I am honored to serve The Lord beside my brothers and sisters in Christ and am thankful for His gift of fellowship. For those of you who do not know The Lord, please ask me about Him. Please ask someone about Him! He has a life for you that you cannot imagine that defeats death!

Happy Easter week! :) He is coating my piece of Earth with snow as we speak! Thank you for rebirth my Lord!

He is bigger

Hello everyone! I am officially through with my second cycle of chemotherapy! I am two thirds of the way through! I start my last long week on Monday and am anxious to get it behind it but am also dreading the way I will feel. Don't get me wrong, I am very blessed to have only felt bad for a few days in each cycle! However, you don't feel your best by any means.

I haven't updated this blog is about a week because I haven't had a whole lot to say. I have just been making it through this week and have kept to myself for most of it. Jason and I have had some great friends visit a couple of times this week and we had a great time with each of them. Not to mention the beautiful weather that we had yesterday! We actually tossed around a frisbee with our good friends yesterday next to the South Holston River! I do have an idea for something to talk about finally.

I have been following a family on Facebook that have recently lost their daughter unexpectedly to a brain tumor. Our friends that are missionaries in Kenya know this family because they are also missionaries. In order to not tell the whole story, their one-year-old baby girl was diagnosed with a medulloblastoma, had a surgery to remove it, and passed away all within a few days. Of course her story is much greater than this. Both of her parents have been open about her story through blogs. I cannot even begin to tell you how much this family and their story has touched my life. I am sure this is the same case for many, many other people that have followed their story.

I am incredibly humbled by this story. I know her parents are overwhelmed, heartbroken, and lost without their youngest child but they have shown faith and trust in The Lord and have praised Him from the get go. Their words about their daughter and her life and purpose are inspiring. They have stated over and over that their strength through this is from The Lord. It is through His grace. I think the biggest impact that this story had had in my life is how God has used such a young child to spread His name. This baby girl was unable to tell others about Christ. She was on this earth for less than 2 years and has moved mountains (I do not doubt). Her dad had mentioned that He wanted to share the name of Jesus through their work as missionaries and he had no idea that his daughter would be the one to introduce her family to the world to aid in supporting their mission.

Our God is bigger than our circumstances. Our God is bigger than cancer. Our God uses the least of these. Who can fathom that He can use the saddest situations and the youngest of children to make the impact that it has? Why do we question His power? Why do we question His plan? Shouldn't we just rest assured that we are in His hands regardless? His plan for us is far greater than what we can comprehend...even through struggle, loss, and sadness. He is there is joy, pain, life and death. He never leaves us. He is always by our side. We must have faith and hope in His promises. We must be obedient to His calling. He will bless us greater that we can imagine if we are obedient and hope in Him.

I am humbled by this sweet baby who has met our Savior. She has inspired me. I have had the opportunity to live an amazing 29 years in this life. She lived less than 2. My life has been a gift and I am tired of living each day without telling the world about this gift. Thank you Lord for my life. Thank you for my story. Please continue to humble me. Open my eyes to your purpose for my life. My life is yours. Give me the courage to tell Your story. Amen.

My life has gone in a direction that I wold not have chosen. This is not my idea of prospering. But it's not up to me nor do I trust my plan for this life. He is using my situation in ways that I cannot comprehend. He is equipping me for the rest of my life. I am thankful that he loves me enough to teach me. I will praise him through it all.

I hope I have correctly displayed this family and this sweet girl through this blog. Please pray for this family as they mourn the loss of this daughter. Pray for their mission work and that the name of The Lord and his great works will be spread.

Cycle three, here we come!!!

For the love of the run

Hi everyone! Things are going pretty good around here. Just trying to make it through week number five without any complications! I have had a little bit of trouble recuperating from my last long chemo week. I have just been somewhat puny and tired but if that's all I have to complain about, I'll take it anyway! Tomorrow is my last Neupogen shot for the week and I get my blood work done as well. Hopefully all of my blood counts look good again!

Other than feeling kinda yucky, I am so bored. I cannot even begin to describe just how bored I am starting to get! I don't have a ton of energy so I can't conquer things like cleaning the whole house in one swoop, yard work, shopping, or even baking (can you believe it?). So unfortunately, you are quite limited to what you can do. I spend most of my days getting ready, reading, watching tv, doing a load of laundry, and little chores around the house. Allie and I occasionally make it to out to the booming metropolis of Bluff City to walk around or to recycle. One those days that it's nice enough to hit the pavement with Allie, it hits me. I MISS running. I desperately miss it. My mind, body, and soul yearn for it. Especially now.

Running became a huge part of my life a few years ago. I have always been an athlete and ran as a part of training for a lot of the sports I participated in but never really enjoyed it. After college and all of the organized sports dwindled, I had to find something to do to stay in shape. I am not a gym rat and would just rather be outside. I started running some distance before I got married to reduce stress (sorry Jason, but getting married is quite stressful) and it helped. It also really helped me fit in my wedding dress! After that though, I lost it again and got busy with PT school and adapting to being a wife and full time student. But like any love, it came back and I'm so glad it did.

In 2012, my parents started the long road to divorce and it took me for a loop. My life had been easy up until then. I couldn't really complain about much and had no reason to really be mad at the world. Now, life wasn't fair. I had a hard time accepting this reality for quite some time and didn't have an outlet. I found myself in a pathetic place really. I was cold, disinterested, and bitter. I knew the promises of God but I was just mad. Anger and hurt can really poison your heart! Then I ran.

I ran to run away from my situation. I ran when my mom was upset. I ran when I was upset. I spent countless hours on the pavement in the bitter cold and in the raging heat running with tears in my eyes. I had downloaded so many songs on my iPod about God's love and plan, overcoming troubles, etc that I could run another marathon without repeating one of them! Running provided me with time to myself and for myself. Gradually, my pain subsided and my heart began to heal. Not only was I beginning to gain substantial distance, but my soul was also benefitting! My runs were filled with contemplating relationships, reliving my day and how it could have gone better, prayer for friends and family, worshipping the Lord, and purging negative thoughts. Running left me strong, capable, and courageous. And this is how my marriage to my running shoes began! It was a symbiotic relationship full of ups and downs, give and take, and the dream to go further tomorrow.

So from the spring of 2010 until December 2012, I ran at least 5 days a week. I ran anywhere from 2-3 miles to 26.2 at one go. I ran in the rain, snow, wind, heat, with Allie, in the dark, before you got out of bed, with friends, alone, being chased by animals, and on many different roads. I ran for people who couldn't- those too scared to try, those too old to try, and for all of my kids at work that could only dream of running. Each time I ran, I got to know Kelly. I learned of her fears, dreams, set backs, failures, strength, and her heart. I miss her. I miss spending time allowing God to reveal her to me.

I know that this trial is much like my marathon. And I will again say that it was by no coincidence that I was able to accomplish that goal before being faced with cancer. He is a great God. I can clearly see how He has used running to prepare me for this. It has taught me my potential. It helped me know my body to catch this early. It made a strong fighter, knowing she is capable of the unthinkable. It has given me life in so many ways. Thank you God for your gift of running.

Don't get me wrong. Running is no walk in the park. Training for a marathon is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Before fighting cancer, I had never been so taxed or pushed to my limit. I had to drag myself out of bed at 5 am on Saturday mornings to go run up to 20 miles (thank you to Susan, my faithful running partner). There were times you didn't want to continue or couldn't continue. Times when you counted down the miles or the steps. "One foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other." I felt like my legs were not my own so many times, probably because they were numb or electrolyte deprived! But through all of that pain, I finished each time. I finished disappointed that I could have done better and sometimes too tired to care. But in the end, it is worth it. All of that pain and suffering, early mornings, late evenings, contemplating quitting, pushing on, and not giving up were worth to finish line. I can't even begin to explain the finish line. That's a whole new blog post. :)

I know they say runners are crazy. I get that. I don't expect many of you to understand, but those that do, go run! I'lI catch up real soon!

"Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." Hebrews 12:1

Halfway Through

So...yesterday marked halfway through with chemo treatments! As of today, I only will have 9 more to go! I cannot believe that we have made it this far. I just wanted to tell everyone how much I appreciate all of the prayers, words of encouragement, and support. Through this experience, the power of prayer and fellowship have definitely been revealed to me!

I fully trust in His ability to bring healing to my body and soul in His time; however I'll be honest in that the next few days are going to be a challenge. I hate to go ahead and say that but after the end of my first long week, I felt pretty crummy. I am again starting to feel pretty bad, where all you can think about is being uncomfortable. I really have no room to complain, because I'll take 3-4 bad days out of a a 21-day cycle! It could be so much worse and I see His blessing in that. I pray that I can stay focused over the weekend knowing that this storm will pass and we'll be closer to finishing! I pray that I won't complain too much so Jason can have a decent weekend with me! :)

After reflecting on the first half of treatment, I realize that I do not know where all the time has gone! I desperately miss normalcy, interaction with people, RUNNING, and my babies at work! It feels like all I have done is play incredible amounts of Sudoku, sleep after my Benadryl dose in chemo camp, and watch too many recorded episodes of Parenthood and Duck Dynasty! This is not how I had attended or spend all of this extra time that He had given me! I often complained before all of this with how little time I had to improve my spiritual life, family life, or clean my house. Well, I have had that time and haven't done a thing with it! I believe that He has given me this period of rest at the perfect time. I pray that I will begin to use it more effectively. It just seems easier sometimes to go someplace different and get away from the circumstances at hand. Although I know that we all go through things that aren't easy but are required for our walk. I know that He keeps me in this valley just long enough until I am where He wants me to be.


Well, I guess I should finish up here and pay more attention to my brother (who left the toilet seat up in the women's cancer center....haha). Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Passing Chemo Camp Time

Today marks the end of my 9th treatment...I only have 13 more! I'm feeling pretty good this week so far! My aunt Anni took me to chemo today and we had some fun trying on different wigs that are available for me to have if I need them. It definitely gave us all a laugh! I may have been slightly too rowdy in the infusion room today! Thank you Anni for being my chemo camp friend today! Needless to say, I didn't take any wigs home! I don't know, should I have? Which one is your favorite? Hehe. Only bald people get to do this!

So for your viewing pleasure...

Turning Point

I didn't really plan to blog today and I don't really know what I am going to talk about but I just felt like writing something. I think I've reached a turning point. No more poor Kelly. I am making a conscious effort to push onward not because I have to but because I can. I am going to do this (of course not alone but I am not powerless)! I am taking initiative to make the next 6 weeks more positive.

I have two stories to share with you today.

Number One
I don't know how many of you got the opportunity to watch 20/20 last night but a special on Robin Roberts from Good Morning America was aired. I didn't know that this was coming on but I was excited to see that it had. This program literally changed my battle. She is incredibly inspiring and The Lord was shining through her. Cancer has done nothing to Robin but bring depth and strength to her life. She displayed her struggles and heartbreak with grace and exemplified joy in her circumstances. I am not alone. There are millions if not billions of people across the world that experience something like this. There are millions of opportunities for us to change our lives and to glorify Christ. You don't have to have cancer to make a difference. All of us have a story...we just have to be willing to share it. Thank you Robin for your love of Christ, your strength, and your story. You are changing lives.

Number Two
After arching this program on tv last night, I was on YouTube looking for other stories from cancer survivors, particularly ovarian cancer. Well, I came across Shannon Miller. I don't know how many of you know her, but in 1996 my 13-year-old self was glued to the tv watching her represent the United States in women's gymnastics. I can remember watching the US women's gymnastics team and wanting to be just like them. She inspired me then and she has inspired me now. Shannon Miller is a germ cell tumor, ovarian cancer survivor. She had my exact tumor and received the same chemotherapy that I am getting. She has made her story known and is now an advocate for ovarian cancer. She has also written a book that discussed her outlook when she was faced with cancer and treatment and talks about survivorship. She discusses taking control of your health and wellness during chemo. You can check her out online at shannonmillerlifestyle.com.

Thank you Lord for the stories of these two women. I hope that my story will impact someone too. We are not alone here. He gave us hands, feet, and mouths to go to the ends of the earth proclaiming his promises and to encourage each other. Don't waste the gift of fellowship.

Love you all. I pray to be here for you as each of you have been here for me. God bless you!

Here is beautiful Costa Rica!

Cycle One

Well, today marks the end of cycle one! I am officially 1/3 of the way through chemotherapy! These past three weeks have been tough physically, mentally, and spiritually but nonetheless encouraging. I have made it through my first cycle of chemo without being overly sick or discouraged. I am extremely blessed that I have had minimal nausea and fatigue and that for the past two weeks I've been very well! Hopefully, this trend sill continue! as far as my physical appearance goes, I am almost completely bald. I really haven't cared about my lack of hair, other than the process of it falling out is somewhat painful! I don't know the science behind this, but my hair hurts around the places that it is actively falling out?! I have had the opportunity to try out the latest bald trends...scarves, messenger hats, etc. :)

Throughout the past three weeks I have learned a lot about faith. I have also learned a lot about the vastness of God. I really only have the faith of a mustard seed most of the time. I will pray to God for healing, comfort, peace, etc. for myself and for others but I still worry and I still feel like I need to perform for His approval. I yearn to be bold with my prayers, knowing that if I ask something from Him, as long as it follows His plan, He will deliver. Not only does He listen and answer prayer, He is able to do ALL things. Things that aren't explained by science or rationale. He is capable to bring peace, healing and understanding. I pray for my faith to increase. His truths are revealed in His word and I pray for the faith to believe this when I can't see. During this process, I have felt like a hypocrite a lot. I write about faith and peace and I don't have that much of the time. I try. I am willing. I am learning and wouldn't trade my life for anything. Granted my life is a little more complicated than I would like, but He is at work. Transform me into your image Lord, teach me Your ways, and direct me to Your truths!

My devotional this morning focused on faith and Matthew Henry from "Streams in the Desert" had this to say, "Active faith gives thanks for a promise even though it is not yet performed, knowing that God's contracts are as good as cash." So thank you Lord for all you have in store.

"Commit your way to The Lord; trust in Him and he will do this." Psalm 37:5

Here is a picture of today's hairstyle...playing with photo booth on the iPad.

Taking Control

Well....the past few days have been quite adventure filled for me. Monday I had chemo camp where I received Bleomycin only. My good friend Mandy took me and stayed for the whole experience (yay Mandy)! Anyone else that would like to experience chemo just let me know...I'm always needing a ride! :) After chemo, my mom and I went to a class that The American Cancer Society does called, "Look Good, Feel Better" ( I think I have mentioned this before). It's a class that goes over skin and nail care, as well as, teaching you pointers on how to alter your make-up to disguise the lovely effects of chemotherapy....dark circles, dry skin, loss of eyebrows and lashes, and blemishes/skin discoloration. This class was extremely helpful and I got to keep an extremely large amount of make-up all donated from the major cosmetic brands! So cool. Not to mention all of the incredible people I had the opportunity to meet that are dealing with the cancer diagnosis. There were actually two women there really close to my age. It was extremely inspiring to see strength and courage in all of these women. It was even better to see The Lord glorified in the lives of women living with cancer.

When I went to get my wig from The American Cancer Society right after my surgery, before chemo even started, they signed me up for this class. At the time, we had no idea what my chemo schedule would look like or anything. Amazingly, and only by the hands of The Lord, would this class also fall on the same day that I began significantly losing my hair. Not only did He bring me to the class, but His light was shining in several of the women there, who filled me with strength and encouragement. One women in particular had just lost her hair and gave me her story about her fear in losing her hair and was quite honest in how hard it was to shave her head. But with a smile on her face, her story was full of grace and healing. She definitely encouraged me to take the plunge and take control of this part of my story. I freely give Christ control of my life, but Satan will not control the emotions surrounding my hair loss. I was not going to let it fall out in clumps and hold onto the fear of waking up with hair on my pillow. I was going to let it go, and let God show me mercy.

So when I got home, I waited for Jason to get there knowing that it had to go! Mom had pulled out of the driveway after dropping me off at home and turned around and came back. She just couldn't miss the opportunity to see her daughter bald headed! (Apparently I was bald until I was 2, 3, 4, or when I started kindergarten...the story keeps changing). Jason got home and it didn't take five minutes until they sat me in the bathtub and got out the scissors and razor. Jason had full intentions of "playing" with various hairstyles before the final shave. I had a mullet and a Mohawk before it was over with. Jason had even bought a razor off of Amazon just for the occasion...he was really enjoying himself. I was kind of worried about my poor husband having to do this. As a woman and a wife, you want to be beautiful for your husband. Even if I looked hideous, he didn't show it. He was incredibly supportive and I thank him for making me feel beautiful. Mom was there to document the occasion. I am thankful for her presence as well because I know she loves me anyway. It was not that bad. A lot less scary than I had imagined and it was liberating. I was free of that fear. I imagine if I gave Jesus more of my worry and burden that this is how that feels. Free.

So my poor head looks awful....partly because of all the bald spots that I already have and partly due to user error (it was Jason's first head shaving experience). I am so relieved to have this step over its though. I'm actually excited for all of my hair to fall out because right now I look like I have the mange. :)

I have a ton of pictures that document this occasion but I will chose a few to post. Be ready, my head will knock your socks off. Hello world, I am bald and ready to face cancer looking like a soldier. A little less than 7 weeks to go in this first part of my journey, God use this time for your good!

Long Overdue

Hi everyone! I hope all of you are having a great Saturday! I want to begin this blog by apologizing for being non-existent over the past week or so. I don't know why I haven't wanted to write...it's not like I don't have the time and I actually have the energy. I feel like I haven't had anything really important to say. With that thought, I realize that I have placed way too much pressure on my own words. This blog isn't intended to be about me or for me in any way (other than a source of therapy), it is for Him. It is to make Him known through this trial, which I have the opportunity to do at every moment in this. So, I am sorry for "wasting my cancer". I have let this time pass by without using it. I keep praying for the next seven weeks to pass but that does nothing if I just sit idly by. Everyday we are called to follow Him, to patiently wait. I don't think God has intended for us to sit and wait and do nothing. We should be actively waiting for his goodness, not feeling sorry for ourselves and our troubles.

Jason and I have friends that are very dear to us that have recently moved to Kenya to join the mission field. We have to opportunity to communicate with this via e-mail, Facebook, etc, occasionally since they left and they definitely been more of a source of encouragement to us than we have been to them since they left. Our friend, Aaron, had written Jason an e-mail when they found out about my diagnosis. One resource that Aaron had mentioned for us to use is "Don't Waste Your Cancer" by John Piper. This is an online resource that anyone can access and read and I highly recommend it. I read this article pretty early on and it has been an incredible resource for my mind and heart. It goes through ten ways you can waste your cancer and not use your pain for His good. Because this article has meant so much to me, I thought I would spend some time sharing it with you guys. Thank you Jones family. You continue to effect the spiritual lives of Jason and I all the way from Kenya! We love and miss you.

Each of the next few paragraphs are my thoughts after reading "Don't Waste Your Cancer" by John Piper. I won't talk about each of his points specifically and I am doing my best to not recreate his ideas. This is really just my heart's response to his words.

Basically, this ovarian cancer diagnosis was chosen for me specifically. This obstacle was placed in this particular point in my life long before I existed. My Maker allowed it. He chose THIS to refine my heart and soul, to make me more like His image. Cancer is not the enemy, Satan is. Satan attempts to destroy my spirit through this trial. Satan attempts to poison my heart and bring me down. My God can use this cancer as a gift for me and for those effected by this disease.

It does nothing for me to dwell over my odds of survival or to know every bit of information regarding ovarian cancer. Don't get me wrong, it is quite important to know what you are fighting by the world's standards. However, God is the ultimate Physician, capable of miracles and healing, not explained my medicine or science. My heart, soul, and mind should be focused on His promises and His plan in this. My efforts should be placed on that active patience that I mentioned earlier and trusting His plan for my future. My odds are determined by The Lord and not scientific studies. He makes the call.

Cancer is humbling. It places the length of your life into focus. At 29, you do not think about your mortality. To be quite honest, the thought of death and eternity is slightly overwhelming. I can't wait to meet Jesus and spend eternity with Him, but being human, eternity is not something I can fathom. I am also a child of consistency and I do not like change. I have only know life in earth so anything else is a little daunting. I have had to face this. I think the bottom line is that I trust Him. If I trust Him here, I will trust Him in the transition outta here. I am thankful that I was forced here. I will no longer waste this life.

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." -James 4:14

"An unexamined life is not worth living." -Socrates

Sometimes I also feel that the victory is in beating cancer. Unfortunately, I have pitied those that have died from this disease because they lost the fight. Victory isn't being healed from this disease. The victory is bringing The Lord glory. The victory is resting in Him and his goodness. He is the prize of a fight well fought. Whether you sit at his feet or continue this life at the end of the battle, we win when He is made known and we are transformed into his likeness.

So there you have it. I have learned a ton about life, cancer, myself, and His love for me and for all of us through this article. I hope you guys take the time to read through it as well or give it to someone you may know that is effected by this disease. Cancer is not the enemy. Cancer is the tool that will be used to refine us, mold us, and change us for His glory. Life will never be the same. Life will have more meaning, more value, and more promise. Life will be gift is was always meant to be.

I leave you with a monster underneath the bed... :)

Chemo Week Two

Hi everyone! I am one day away from completing week number two of chemo! I only had one actual day of chemo this week. Monday I went in for about 5 hours to receive one drug, Bleomycin. On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I will have to go in to receive Neulasta, which is a shot that will aid in maintaining my white blood cell count to prevent infection. I will also have my PICC line dressing changed and blood drawn on Thursday to monitor my cell counts and electrolyte levels.

This week is drastically different from last in terms of the way I feel and my energy level. By the end of last week and into the weekend, I was just about at a breaking point. Thankfully, I got a break this week. I thought I'd do my best and describe how chemo has made me feel for the past few weeks. Know that my experience with chemo will not be the same as someone else's.

Week One: I was scared. This whole week was a first for everything and with that, there was quite a bit of fear. I think the majority of my suffering in this week was related to anxiety. I spent most of the week sitting in a hospital-grade recliner hooked up to an IV. I was at chemo for at least 6 hours a day during the week and started to get pretty bored by the end of the week. For those of you who know me, I rarely sit down with my job. As a pediatric physical therapist, I spend most of my day running, jumping, skipping, chasing children, and rolling around in the floor. So as nice as a recliner seems at the end of long day, it's not so nice after 6 hours at one time. By the end of the week, I was in desperate need of a deep tissue massage and thoracic mobilizations. Other than back pain, I felt pretty groggy due to all of the medicines that I have been given to reduce chemo side effects and to prevent allergic reactions. By the end of each day, I had received more variety in medications than I had previously taken in the past year. I'd have to say though, I wasn't feeling horrible. If I had to give my main physical complaint, I think I would have to say indigestion/nausea. Then lack of appetite and fatigue. I really do not like being tired after trying to do something as simple as getting ready in the morning.

Weekend One: I thought the weekend was going to be a nice break after going to chemo everyday for 5 days straight. Jason and I had a rough weekend. I was feeling quite a bit worse that I had been during the week. I was pretty nauseated and had indigestion most of Saturday. I was quite weak and fatigued and feeling pretty sorry for myself. Eight more week of feeling like this, seriously!!?? Sunday did not bring much relief until early afternoon. I wasn't really able to get going until about lunchtime each day and typically started feeling better throughout the afternoon. Sunday was much better. I was able to get outside and enjoy the weather and walk around a little with Jason and Allie. I think I may have even ran in the yard for about 30 seconds before getting tired...HAHA. Hard to believe after I just ran for 5 hours in November. Thankfully, the weekend has been the worst I have felt.

Week Two: So this week has been completely different than last week. I have had increased energy and have not been in a fog. I have a pretty good appetite, have not been nauseated, and have not had any heartburn. I have had a sore throat this week and some headaches but that is pretty much it. Oh, and a rash. Let me tell you about that! After Bleomycin this past Monday, my shoulders began to itch a little bit. It went away after Monday and I did not think much about it. On Tuesday, while I was driving to the oncologist to get my Neulasta shot, I decided to open the sunroof in my car and enjoy the sunshine. By the time I got to the doctor, my shoulders were burning and I was quite uncomfortable. Apparently, I was having a chemo-induced skin reaction and I got sunburned! Sunburned in February, in overcast, 40 degree weather! This morning, I was already peeling! Looks like my skin will not see the sun for sometime!

So that is where when have been and where we are physically. It's hard telling where I will be tomorrow. That is something that I have definitely learned about chemo, things change. Things change quickly. I am planning on blogging about the roller coaster of emotions since this chemo stuff started next so get ready for that one!

I can't write about all of this without realizing that this medicine is making me better. This medicine is saving my life. When I want to feel sorry for myself, which unfortunately can happen often, I have to remember that. Also, this will only last for the next 7 weeks. I can do this. This medicine will give me the best chance to live a nice, long, healthy life. I have that in the balance, I just have to get through the next 7 weeks!

I also can't write about all my complaint without praising God for how much that I have been spared from! I did not think chemo would be this hard, but I did not think it would be this easy either. From reading all of the side effects, I think I am doing quite well. I hope and pray that this will continue. Hey, if I wasn't about to lose my hair, you may not be able to tell I was getting chemo. Let's hope that stays the same!

If you are reading this and you pray, please pray for me. Please pray for me and my family as we continue this journey. Pray that I tolerate this medication without difficulty and give my treatment team wisdom for my care. I have not made it this far without prayer. I cannot do this without prayer and without the strength of The Lord. I have failed myself so many time over the past week and have lost faith but He is sufficient. He is all I need.

See you all soon!

Blessings Part 2

Hello again. I am sitting here in what my brother calls "Chemo Camp" for the third day in a row. I haven't received my Benadryl via IV yet so I am cognizant enough to blog a little bit! :) I have a few things that are on my mind to blog about and I thought I'd start off with the blessings in my life. To be honest, this morning has been my worst yet. I have not been sick, per say, but I feel kind of run down. I woke up a little nauseated and didn't have much of an appetite. I really did not want to go back to "Chemo Camp" today and the thought of nine weeks of this was making me more nauseated. I know how much my attitude can play into the way I feel physically so I was trying not to let this get to me! While we were waiting for chemo to start, my brother had me think about all the good things in my life. And here is a synopsis of these things: I am a child of God, I have lots of people who love me, I have a nice warm home to go to after chemo camp, I have awesome sitters, I am educated, I have a supportive husband and circle of family/friends, I live in a country where chemo and correct diagnosis are possible, and I have hope in my Lord that this is just a season that will pass. I also feel like all of this negative attitude is holding me back for focusing on Him.

Other than all of the blessings in my life, I thought I'd mention of few of the other goodies I have received. I would hate to leave anyone out! I don't think those of you that have given me gifts would care either way, but I thought I'd represent the things that have lifted my spirit. I am very appreciative of all the support and love that you have provided me. I feel all of the prayers and I know that He is before me, beside me, and behind me. I cannot express what each and everyone on you mean to me and my family. I pray that God blesses your life and provides you with the same love and support that I have received throughout your lives. He is capable of all things!

"For nothing is impossible with God" Luke 1:37